Interviewer: Yes, folks, there you have it. Real life testimony
from real people in real foreign countries. And this farmer whom we shall
call Mr. S is living proof of the value of owning Swiss Army Spam. Swiss
Army Spam is a true monument to today's technology with over two-hundred
high-tech features, including toothpicks, a flamethrower, and good old
American Spam. And just listen to some of the uses for your new Swiss Army
Farmer: Yes, Swiss Army Spam is neat, and I think that everyone should use it.
Interviewer: Um, thank you, Mr. S, for those warm words of praise.
Well, that's about all the time we have, so I have just one more sentence.
Spam is good for many things it's only $59.95 it's streamlined for speed
and everyone should buy it so I can get paid and we'll leave you with this
musical interlude, Maestro...
(Monty Python's "Spam Song" plays at this point...)
I wrote this little piece in 1989 for a mandatory high school Consumer
Studies class, for a section on advertising. In groups, we had to decide
upon a product, write up a commercial and perform it in front of the class.
I wrote this around midnight on the night before it was due, borrowing
ever so slightly from both Monty Python and Douglas Adams, and Jason Smith,
Brant Eaton and I performed it the next morning. Extra kudos to Jason for
such a great performance as the Arkansas farmer with only five minutes
to look over the script before class.